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BEHOLD #218 – Chiquita Bonita



She is the CGO (Chief Growing Officer) of the fresh, pomganic produce company, “Be Fruity.” Be Fruity believes in raising luxurious, humanely grown fruits and veggies. So, all of the fruit gardens play daily meditations, whale noises, waterfall sounds, and songs by Olivia Newton-Pom – because, let’s face it, she has the voice of an angel. Each fruit has a mini hammock made of pomganic cotton (made by micro loan funded Pom women from villages in the rainforests) in which to sleep, meditate, and daydream. They are sprinkled several times a day with organic mist from the Swiss Alps. Their soil is filled with tiny android worms that till it and play the daily music out of tiny speakers in their android worm heads. No living beings are destroyed in the growing of Be Fruity Fruits. The Fruits are gently harvested by Poms wearing velvet gloves. These are the healthiest, happiest, most nutrient-filled (and most expensive) fruits grown. Despite blueberries costing $100 each, cherries, $200 each, and prices going up from there (imagine how much a Pomelo costs!!!) Chiquita and her staff can’t keep enough fruits in stock to meet the demand. Who knew there was such a market for pompulent, luxury fruits?

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