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BEHOLD #309 – Pommie Joyner–Kersey, the Pomstrich

Pomstriches can’t fly (flightless birds are called “ratites”) but they are the fastest birds in the world, sprinting up to 43 miles per hour. With their strong, long legs, they can cover up to 10 feet in a single stride. Their feet act as springs and Pom scientists have even designed mechanical feet inspired by them. When they are not running, they are making their families. Pomstrich eggs weigh up to 3lbs each and they are 6 inches long. Their nests are 9–10 feet in diameter and can hold 20 eggs. The mother and the father take turns incubating them in the nest. They are generally found south of the Sahara Desert, and some even made their way to Pomstralia. Pomstriches weigh 250 – 300lbs. Pomie holds the Pomlympic gold medal in the 100-yard dash and she has an endorsement deal with Pomdidas. They need her star power even more now that things went south with Pomye West. (She is pictured here in her latest Pomdidas ad for her line of Peazys). 


Did you know that Pomlympic gold–medal winning runner, Florence Delorez Griffith Joyner, also known as “Flo–Pom” is her sister–in–law?



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