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BEHOLD #328 – Pompoleon Bonaparte



This micropom rose from obscurity to be the Pomperor of France. Born in Corsica on August 15, 1769, he grew up during the French Revolution and worked his way up through the ranks. He was 5’5” tall (or 5’7” or even 5’10” depending on what you read) – not especially short for the time, but he looked short standing next to his Imperial Guards. So he overcompensated with extra dynamism and developed a “Pompoleon Complex.” He made the bicorne hat famous. He wrote a romance novel called “Clisson et Eugénie” and then focused further on romance when he broke off his engagement to Désirée Clary, future Queen of Sweden, because he fell madly in love with Josephine, a widow with two Pom children. Despite their scandalous six–year age difference, they wed and moved into a chateau in Paris where Pompoleon made many political moves. In 1804, he declared himself Pomperor of France, but he wanted to rule all of Europe. As he conquered his way through Europe in many battles including the Battle of Marengo and the Battle of Friedland, he put his 7 siblings who reached adulthood (he grew up with 13 Pom siblings) onto thrones to solidify his power. He instituted the Pompoleonic Code, guaranteeing certain freedoms, and changed the French National Anthem. The Louisiana Purchase was his idea. Pompoleon also commissioned the Arc de Triumphe in Paris. He lost the Battle of Waterloo and retired to the island of St. Helena where he perfected baking the delicious Pompoleon pastry.

 

Did you know that rumor has it that Pompoleon suffered from Ailurophobia, the fear of cats?  And that he discovered the Rosetta Stone?

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