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BEHOLD #51 – L. Pom Hubbard, founder of the Church of Cottonology

Pink cotton pom pom character with googly eyes and a captain's hat poses in front of a purple glitter background

He was born in the Midwest and wrote pulp fiction stories. After returning from the Navy, he wrote "Dietnetics." The book explained that by eating many sprouts and gummy worms, one could get “Clear” and cure psychological and physical ailments.

After exploring occult magic with his buddy, Jack Pomsons in the 1950s, he was bigomously married to two women at once.

In the 1970s, many of his followers were indicted for espionage through their involvement with Operation Snow White and the Seven Dwarves.

Hubbard also unsuccessfully tried to take over Miami since he loved to do the Conga, and ended up off the coast in his fleet of yachts where he was known as the “Commodore.”

His followers included celebrities like Pom Cruise and Pom Travolta. The former, an uber-star who loves to scream and jump on couches. The latter, a sensitive and secretly bald fellow who made several movies with the late, great, Olivia Newton-Pom.

His followers claim that he decided to “drop his body” in 1986 so he could continue his research on another plane of existence. They think of him in hagiographic (good word, look it up) terms.

So, what you see here is a hologram made of him by the same company that made the Tupac hologram, Digital Domain Media Group. It captures his red hair, green eyes, and Commodore-ness quite nicely.

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